feminism, bodies, womanhood, trauma, abuse, caretaking, journaling, life cycle, decay

Canvases soaked in deep reds, loosely painted splatters of dark blues and golden yellows, splashes and pours of white and black, drawn squiggles and smudges reminiscent of botanical drawings and wisps of smoke. Colors that draw connections to personal emotional states as well as more universal symbols of bodily fluids and the earth. 

The large scale offers more room for me to paint using my whole body and to feel enclosed in the canvas as I paint. It gives a sense that the viewer could step into the pieces, offering them the opportunity to get up close and personal to explore smaller spaces and details of texture and color. I enjoy playing with the balance between expansive and microscopic scales, at once creating a space for the viewer to enter into and to get lost inside of. 

Inspired by second wave feminist performance art and sculpture and the abstract expressionist movement, I’ve used my body to move, scrape, fling, smear, ejaculate the paint, followed by sessions of “caring for” the canvases by “cleaning” or “wiping” up puddles, tidying painted elements, or repainting areas to enhance or alter their appearance. I started in a field by the marsh, naked, with a bucket of paint, a drop cloth, and a piece of canvas. Eventually, I framed and stretched these action paintings to bring them home.

I have used these canvases as a journal, coming to the paintings to purge unwanted or “undesirable” emotions in the middle of a crises or to express my outrage and fury at the end of a hard day. But I also used them to act out my lived experiences as a women as well as the care and attention I have longed for throughout my life, reflecting these contrasts through the contrasts of high energy brush strokes with the more methodical and caring application of materials.

These pieces are made with latex house paint, oil paint, acrylic paint, universal tinting paste, gesso, inks, charcoal, oil pastel, watercolor crayon, plant material, and trash on drop cloth “canvases”. Materials are applied with anything as a brush (hands, tools, sticks, brushes, paper towels, breath, plastic, etc)

I apply media to these canvases with no regard for archival stability. In fact, I want these pieces to degrade. I’m fascinated by our culture’s obsession with making art last forever and how that is in direct conflict with our human tendency to perish. I’d love to see a piece of art that was created out of a process continue that human process of decay. Likewise, I would love to see this particular project start to drop its bits onto the (gallery) floor (if I were to be so lucky) over the years. I would love for these canvases to be faded and worn in many years, just as I will be. 

Possibilities for the future of this project include an immersive installation, a replication of the performance piece, and a community-inclusive painting experience.