Express is an ongoing project about bending the rules, making stuff to make stuff, and tapping into the MatrikaShakti, the un-understood mother of sound. 

I know I’m not alone in saying that I am an intellectualizer. And although this can be a superpower, it can also get in the way of a lot of living. For much of my life I have felt much safer if I thought about my emotions instead of truly feeling them. I have spent the last two years re-learning what my feelings are and how to feel safe with them, particularly when I don’t force them into a verbal space. I’ve been learning how to  be okay with the discomfort of not putting a feeling into words while simultaneously letting go of that need for verbal understanding. Since beginning this practice, I have learned that the ancient tradition of Kashmir Shaivism actually has a word for this concept - MatrikaShakti. Loosely translated, MatrikaShakti means "It is the Ununderstood Mother of Sound Which Binds Us.”

Matrikas are the pre-verbal “mothers” of sound and communication. Matrika is the strength, the spark, the movement behind everything we think or speak. For me, tapping into this unknown, un-understandable part of me and connection to the universe has brought healing and clarity. This ongoing project serves as a tool for me to revisit MatrikaShakti, to practice being comfortable with that which I have not yet verbalized or made concrete. 

Because the very nature of this concept is about something raw and untamed, I have let myself pull on several media, breaking “art rules” and embracing a messy meaning or outcome. In this way, this series has also served as a connecting thread between my other ongoing projects, which I believe encapsulates the concept even further, binding these often ununderstood moments and sensations together.